It's 1:35am. What better time to start a blog post?
Actually, it's a terrible time to start a blog post. I worked a 9-hour shift at the Hunter tonight (though it was way more easy-breezy than anticipated) and when I got home couldn't go straight to bed (totally wired), so decided to wind down with a little Chardonnay and some Million Dollar Listing: Los Angeles. That was an hour ago. So I should have started this then. Which is why I probably won't finish it until tomorrow. Or next Thursday. Or next month.
But I've been busy the past hour....ya know....watching TV, drinking my wine, trolling Facebook, catching up on Twitter, balancing my checkbook, ordering things off Amazon (WHAT??!!.....just kidding.....maybe).
P.S. I got a magazine called "Bits and Pieces" in the mail the other day. If you were ever one to receive a gift from me, then your gift is totally coming from this magazine this year. Birthday, Christmas, Hanukkah.....it's on.
P.P.S. If you ARE actually expecting a gift from me, DON'T GOOGLE THIS MAGAZINE. You'll ruin the fun times for the both of us.
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| Not so much. But we can pretend. |
I do really want to talk about the Ragnar Relay, but since that will take more time than I want to be up this evening, that will just have to wait for "Part 2". So instead, let's all listen to me bitch and moan about about my fitness failures. SUPER FUN.
No bitching and moaning about having to listen to me bitch and moan. ;)
So.....as my regular readers know.....after I had Baby #2, lost the baby weight (NOT the full "baby weight", just the actual baby plus excess womanly yada-yada), I settled into a solid 140-142 lbs. This after going into my first pregnancy at 123 lbs (fit and trim) and going into my second pregnancy right around 133 lbs (quite a bit less fit and trim). Now, as I've ALSO said before (and always feel like I have to clarify when I talk the weight talk), I have loads of friends whose weights far surpass 140 lbs, so I'm not comparing myself to them NOR am I attempting to make them feel like they need to lose weight. I LOVE ALL OF YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND. I don't care if you feel like you need to lose weight or are completely content with your weight......I wouldn't change a darn thing about you unless your health was an issue - then we're having a chat, because I don't want to lose you. So there. 140 lbs or 340 lbs, I love ya, baby!!!
But for me personally, I'm not happy with my weight. And it's not that I need to be thin and skinny. It's the feeling of being "fit and trim" that I miss. I just want to feel good. And right now, I don't feel good.
I got my weight down to about 132 lbs a while back, with a goal of 129 (followed by a second goal of 125). Right around that time (September-ish), I got handed a huge load of both bartending shifts and environmental projects. For my wallet, this is awesome news. For my body.....not so much. As a bartender, I am usually dependent on either catered food or fast food (late after an event) as my dinner. As a contractor traveling for work, this means quick food on the road. Neither of which is weight-loss friendly. Sure, I've tried packing my own snacks and/or lunch/dinner. I've even tried eating big before going to work. But the hunger overrules EVERY time, at least for this food pushover!! My granola bars or pre-made meals never last long enough to fill me up. I end up working it off. And then when it's an "eat this or it's going in the trash" ordeal, I end up eating more than I should because I feel horrible for whatever cow/pig/chicken gave its life just to end up being tossed into the trash.
I really should go back vegetarian.
But that's a whole other conversation.
I also haven't had any extra time to run and/or work out, because all of my "free" time (when the kiddos are asleep) has been dedicated to environmental reports. And I've just been flat out lazy about breaking out the doubler jogger when they're awake. That sucker is tough.
So anyways......over the past two crazy-busy work months I've gained almost ALL of that weight back! It's damn ridiculous. My scale screamed 139 lbs at me the other day. I should be nowhere near that mark. I'm supposed to be near the 125 mark at this point. So this jump back up to 139 super sucks. And it's ALL in my gut. The muffin top that overfloweth my jeans. And in five weeks from now, my brother is marrying his fiance, and I'm a bridesmaid. The dress is beautiful and flattering to any body shape/weight, but I was really hoping to feel "fit and trim" again by December. Lucy will be a year old in December. It's time.
So over the next five weeks, I'm on the Tic-Tac diet. Or maybe the grapefruit diet. Or maybe the acai berry diet. Or maybe the hot dog diet (gross). I've had success in the past with cutting out refined carbs, so I should probably go that route. And it would also probably help if I cut out the wine (Stacie, do you hear this nonsense???). And I need to start race training again to burn some major calories. I'm signed up for the Scenic City Half Marathon, which is happening in Chattanooga in February. I would much prefer not to suck during that race.
So starting tomorrow, my accountability is ON. Why tomorrow and not today? Because Lucas and I and the kids have a lunch date with friends at City Cafe, and then tonight we're celebrating Lucas's birthday and my brother's birthday at my parents' house. So I don't feel like being good today. ;)
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| Today is definitely still a fat day. |
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