Breakups Are Hard (Part 2).

I left off in my last blog post, Breakups Are Hard, not really anticipating a "Part 2".  Granted, I knew this "accidental friend" wasn't just going to go away.  I knew there would be a follow-up to the breakup saga.  I knew it would take a little time.  What I totally didn't anticipate was just HOW MUCH this friend was going to refuse to let it happen.

Last time I chatted with you readers, it was a Tuesday.  Last Tuesday the 22nd, to be exact.  I had broken up with April (yes, her name is April) the night before, and had casually responded to two of her MANY texts that day.  After that, I decided I wasn't going to respond at all anymore.  It was advised by several of my friends that I cut the cord cold turkey or else she would continue to text/call me about stupid stuff that didn't matter in order to just keep conversation going.  One friend said it well....."she will try anything to bait you back into a friendship".  So going cold turkey is exactly what I decided to do.

I felt horrible about it, at least at first.  I'm just not the type of person to give the boot to someone who likes me just because they're odd or socially awkward or just different from me in general.  But I've also never had anybody leech onto me like I was their blood supply.  It was TOO MUCH.

So starting on Wednesday, I became a no-texter-backer.  I didn't block her number at this point, because I decided that was unnecessary for the time being.  I wanted her to take the hint and the only way that I would be able to tell if she had taken it was to see if she kept texting me even when I completely stopped responding.

I think Wednesday morning started off with a "What r u doing?" text.  Then after that I got an "Ask your mom if she wants a kitten" text.  And then I'm pretty sure that was followed by a "Hello r u there?" text.

Between Wednesday and Sunday, I got at minimum of 4 texts a day from her, and that was on a slow day.  She asked me multiple times about the kittens, told me that she heard there was a prom going on at the Hunter Museum Saturday night, asked me what I do with my kids' clothes once they outgrow them, and always wanted to know what I was doing.  There were also a couple tossed in that were similar to "I don't know why you're ignoring my texts because you said you weren't mad at me so we should still be friends".  By Friday, she had convinced herself that I wasn't getting my texts (her friend in Virginia apparently told her that her texts weren't coming through - mmm hmm), so she also started calling me.  We were in Nashville over the weekend for the St. Jude Country Music Marathon, but I knew she was calling both my house line (yes, I actually have one) and my cell phone because after my cell would ring she would text me to ask if I was home.  Plus after we got back, the evidence was on the Caller ID.

Sunday by lunchtime, I was over it.  Yes, I could have just simply blocked her right then and there.  But I didn't want to just leave it hanging (though I thought I had ended it before?????) so I decided to send ONE FINAL text simply explaining that when I said I didn't want to be friends anymore, I MEANT that I didn't want to be friends anymore.  That "I don't want to be friends anymore" didn't actually mean "We should still be friends".

The text I sent was blunt and to the point.  It basically said, "When I said I didn't want to be friends anymore, that's exactly what I meant.  No, I don't want to text.  No, I don't want to talk.  No, I don't want to hang out.  And no, I don't want to come over.  So please stop texting and calling me.  Goodbye."

About an hour and a half later, I got my first response.  I won't quote her texts because she uses poor grammar and zero punctuation, but I'll give you the extremely edited versions.

Text #1 

You are not a nice person.  I used to think you were nice, but not anymore.  Do you do this to everybody who says something you don't agree with?  You obviously hold grudges because I apologized to you and I don't know why you won't accept it and now my feelings are hurt. (In summary, YOU SUCK.)

Text #2
Maybe you're doing this "because I don't have kids or tattoos or whatever".  You don't have to have things in common with people to be friends with them.  (YOU SUPER SUCK.)

Text #3 (and my personal favorite):
 When you get a new phone, will you send pictures of the kids?  "My mom ain't done nothing wrong" and she would still like to see them.  So if you are actually a nice person you would send pictures.  Send as many as you want! (I'm only saying you suck because I'm mad)

Text #4:
Oh wait - we actually do have things in common.  We share the same name, we both like to help pets and your kids' birthdays are in the same birthday months as mine and my mom's.  So SEE, we DO have things in common so you should really reconsider throwing away this friendship.  Call me and we'll work this out.  (Please don't suck.)

Text #5:
The problem is is that you think you're always right all the time.  You've said things I haven't liked and I've still stayed YOUR friend.  This is all just an excuse not to talk to me anymore.  You're going to tell me it has taken you two years to decide you didn't want to be friends?  You're just a big liar.  (YOU STILL SUCK.)

Text #6:
WHATEVER.  I knew you wouldn't answer my texts.  This is ridiculous.  You obviously don't care about hurting people's feelings.  I'm starting to learn that the word "friend" is just a joke!  (I'M SO MAD.)

There was more psycho-babble in there, but that's basically what they said.  And that was the last of them before I blocked her phone numbers from cell phone Monday morning.  It's kind of bittersweet, because although I'm extremely glad that I'm not having to deal with it anymore, I'm morbidly curious as to what she tried to text me on Monday, and exactly how many times she has tried to text or call my phone.  I bet she's LIVID every single time the "message undeliverable" message pops up, or the "call cannot be completed" lady tells her to f*#% off.

I had to email EPB to ask them how to block numbers on my home line.  They responded pretty quickly, but I was out and about and then I just forgot all about it.  So what happened yesterday (Friday) morning?  SHE CALLED MY HOME PHONE.  Of course I didn't answer, and of course she didn't leave a message.  Part of me wonders if she just wanted to see if she was blocked.  Well she is now, so if she tried (or tries) calling back, the "call cannot be completed" lady will be waiting for her!

People ask me if I'm worried if she'll drive by my house to see if I'm home.  Well, I park in the garage, so she'd never be able to tell if I was home or not.  My front door doesn't have a peephole, so I don't answer it when I'm home alone with the kids.  Even though we live in a really nice and considerably safe neighborhood, there are some weirdos out there and I would prefer not becoming the star of a Lifetime movie.  And my neighborhood consists of mostly elderly folks with a stringent neighborhood watch organization, so if she was creeping around, there would likely be a mass email sent out about it along with a post on the neighborhood community page.

So there you have it!  I'm taking bets on what's next......does she mail me a nasty letter??  :)

P.S.  Once I'm back on my own laptop, my blog posts will contain pictures again!