No Thank You, Scary Movies. Being a Mom is Scary Enough!

A friend of mine came over last night to hang out, chow down on pizza and watch a movie.  This was the first time we had done a movie night, so I asked her what kind of movies she liked or if there was a particular one she was wanting to see.  Her response - she LOVES scary movies and really wants to see "The Conjuring" if it was available for rent yet.

We ended up watching "The Place Beyond the Pines" (which was not at all the movie I thought it would be, by the way).  But it was definitely not a scary movie.

NO.

Did I mention NO?

I told my friend (who is single and childless) that I used to LOVE scary movies.  They were my absolute favorite.  The scarier the better.  Because no movie ever really scared me.  Some would freak me out because of creepy-crawlies (like "Slither"), but not actually scare me.  But if they made me jump and hide one eye under a blanket - AWESOME. 

But then I became pregnant and had a child.  That literally ENDED my scary movie days.  Because every movie in my mind now makes me think of this:

DOUBLE NO.

I WOULD SHIT MYSELF.

But it's not just that.  It's that I have enough nightmares on my own about my child without adding MORE possibilities into the mix.  Or even just nightmares in general that have nothing to do with children.  I JUST DON'T NEED ANY MORE OF THEM IN MY LIFE.

My friend was fine with a non-scary movie, but I could tell that a good scary flick was what she had really hoped for.  See, she currently lives at her parents' house, and her mom doesn't like scary movies, either.  So I guess she doesn't watch them as often as she'd like to.  And since she's good with kids but clueless about mommyhood, she was totally surprised that having a baby could make you shy away from scary movies.  Because she loves them like I used to and can't imagine not loving them anymore!

Now I DO love me some Walking Dead.  But that's different.  I don't see it as scary at all.

Maybe one day I'll love scary movies again.  I just don't see it happening anytime soon.

Speaking of nightmares of my own, THEY ARE NEVER ENDING.  I'm not a crazy, overprotective mother (at least I don't think so) and I don't obsess over a fever or a snotty nose or tumbles or dirt or germs or any of that.  But sometimes when I get out of the car and am about to get Delano out of his seat, I have a flash vision of accidentally leaving him in the car and it instantly makes tears well up in my eyes.  I think of those parents who go on with their day, not even realizing what they've done, and I CANNOT IMAGINE how they feel when they find out that they never dropped their child off at daycare, or left them in the car in the driveway after an exhausting day.  Because it could happen to any of us when we're out of our normal routine or simply stretched too thin.  And it's TERRIFYING.

This image alone makes me cry.  Like right now.

I'm seriously wiping the tears away right now.  Because the thought of a child left in a car, just sitting there, crying and sweating and getting hotter and hotter, with no way of helping themselves or knowing what to do.......just oh my god.  OH MY GOD.  I feel the same way about animals being left in cars.

With animals, you just have to spread the word to people NOT TO DO IT and call the cops/animal control on anybody who does (or break the animal out yourself if it seems detrimental).  With kids and babies, parents just need to follow these tips that help to remind them that their child is in the back.  For me, it's such a habit to constantly check the backseat to see what Delano's doing, even if I'm alone, that I really shouldn't have to worry about accidentally leaving him behind.  But I still do, because I'm his mom and that's what moms do.

I also have flash visions here and there of those fears I've talked about before in a previous post.  I have flashes of Delano drowning.....or of someone running a red light and slamming into his side of the car.....or of him falling down the stairs.....or falling off the deck and cracking his head open.....or of me being carjacked while he's in the car and the carjacker refusing to let me get him out before he drives off with my baby.....or of him being kidnapped.....or of him being shot (thanks to the recent story of Antonio Santiago).....or of us being caught in a tornado and him being ripped from my arms.....or of him being sucked into the ocean by a riptide.....I'm telling you, these fantasies of bad things have no boundaries (though I don't actually fear a Sharknado).  Because crazy shit happens all the time.  And anytime these visions happen, my eyes instantly fill with tears (and sometimes bring on an all-out bawl).  I occasionally end up crying in the car.  I occasionally end up crying at night in bed.  I occasionally end up crying in the afternoon while Delano's napping.  It's awful and exhausting on my brain.  And what sucks is that I'm fully aware that I have a LIFETIME of years ahead of fearing for my children's well-being!

I'm sure being pregnant just adds to the ease of the tears flowing, but then I start thinking about having TWO little humans to worry about, and it doesn't make me feel all that much better.

Sharknado's coming!

Oh, the life of a mom.  I just don't know what I would do if something serious ever happened to my precious little guy, so I just have to do my best to keep him as safe as possible without turning into some crazy person!

LOVE.