Upside-Down Heart-Shaped Pudges

Lucas is an ass man.

Sure, he likes boobs, as does any straight man and boy out there.  But some men are boob men, some are leg men, some like a juicy pair of lips, and others are all about the eyes.  And then there are those with a serious foot fetish.  Lucas's "body part" of choice is the booty.  Which I greatly lack.  Sorry, Lucas.

If I had Nicki Minaj's booty, Lucas would seriously be in heaven.

Yesterday, Lucas took me shopping for new jeans.  I have two pairs of jeans right now that fit (though my had-a-baby-muffin-top still floweth over) and I wear them DAILY.  They say some moms live in sweat pants and sweatshirts.  Others in yoga gear.  I live in blue jeans and tshirts.  And maybe a sweater if it's cold outside and I need to leave the house.  But if you happen to run into me one day, it's a given that jeans and a tshirt are what's on my body.  I have no need to dress up, as most stay-at-home moms don't.  And it's not like I'm throwing on the heels on the weekends anymore like I used to.

I don't feel like I dress frumpy.  Just plain and boring in my array of old Chili's tshirts.

So in the store, I grab a couple of styles of jeans in a couple of different sizes to take into the dressing room.  My standard go-to is the boot cut, which I instantly grabbed.  But I grabbed some skinny jeans as well because Lucas wanted to see them.  And I grabbed a different style/brand from the shelf that looked like it was in the boot cut family.

The difference between me and Lucas is, while I'm putting on jeans, I'm looking at my muffin top while Lucas is looking at my butt.  He wasn't even remotely glancing at my waist (until I pointed it out, of course).  The last pair of jeans I grabbed were the first I put on.  I knew I was in trouble the second they hit my calves.....they were a lot more form-fitting and stretchier than I first thought.  As I'm hiking them over my butt and buttoning them around my waist, Lucas is already nodding "yes" while I'm thinking, "ewww".  Sure, from the back, I admit I looked pretty good.  But the jeans buttoned precisely into the little upside-down heart-shaped pudge that is my muffin top, therefore causing it to be OVER the top of my jeans.  So the conversation goes something like this:

Lucas:  Yep.  I like'em.
Me:  You like them?
Lucas:  Uh-huh.  They make you look like you actually have an ass.
Me:  Have you not SEEN my waist?
Lucas:  What about it?
Me:  What about it?!  Look at it!  My belly is pouring over them like a busted can of biscuits!
Lucas:  (rolls his eyes) Nobody's looking at that!  Everybody's going to be looking at your butt.
Me:  Haha no they're not.  Just you, sir.  These are too small.
Lucas:  I think you should try on a size smaller.
Me:  A size smaller??!!  Now you've really lost your mind.  If anything I need a size bigger.
Lucas:  No way.  These are perfect.

What Lucas saw.

What I saw. (Not actually a pic of my belly, though it could be!)

Granted, I found it to be a really sweet sentiment that I was all concerned about my waistline while Lucas thought it was a silly concern and that "nobody's looking at that".  At least I know that HE'S not disappointed with my waistline.  I mean, I did just birth his child 4 months ago, so he'd better not be!  Only kidding.  But a girl does get paranoid when she has a baby (or just simply goes through some weight gain) and her body doesn't look like it did before.  You worry that your other half isn't pleased with the "after", especially when you're not even pleased with it yet.  Turns out Lucas is still just trying to make my butt look bigger/rounder/firmer/like it exists.

I guess it's just the difference between men and women.  I feel like everybody will be looking at my waist.  And maybe that's because a lot of women out there WILL be.  Women can't help but compare themselves to other women, especially the parts of their own bodies that they consider flawed.  But the men are just out there checking out their favorite part(s).

Yep.

We both dismissed the skinny jeans (neither one of us liked them) and Lucas nixed the basic boot cut jeans before I even had the chance to button them, so I left with the first pair.

Lucas was pleased, but now I've been given even more of an incentive to lose this final gaggle of baby weight.  I'll never have a washboard stomach no matter how hard I try, and now that I've had a baby I'll probably always be sporting the upside-down heart-shaped pudge in the front, but I can at least work towards feeling a little better about it all!

For this, though, it was all worth it:

Happy 4 months, Delano!!