When Kids Happen.

**Sidenote:  I wrote this blog about two or three weeks ago (but just needed to revise it for posting), but have had conversations with several friends who must have been reading my mind because this topic has been a BIG ONE lately!  So here you go.....

I love my kids to the moon and back (as the sappies say), but my social life has gone to crap.  To CRAP, I tell ya.

Pre-kids, I did all sorts of cool stuff.  I was a total social butterfly.

I got up in the mornings and I went either downtown or to the Riverwalk and went running.  For an hour or two.  I trained for a 5k, and then for a half marathon.  I considered training for a full marathon.  I entered races left and right, from local races to out of town races, from 5ks to 10ks to half marathons.  I planned a trip to Orlando just so that I could run the Disney Wine & Dine Half Marathon.  I drove by myself to Jackson, Mississippi and Mobile, Alabama just to add those two states as "notches" on my race belt (and up my "level" with the Half Fanatics).  I had (correction: HAVE) a list of races I still REALLY want to do.  I was in the best shape ever in my adult life during my pre-kids race days.

Disney Wine & Dine 2011

I volunteered (on average) every other Saturday morning at the Humane Society helping to get dogs walked and prepped and loaded for PetSmart.  I volunteered at the Humane Society to clean kennels every holiday that I was in town.  I helped with animal transfer runs for a group called OTRA.  I participated in fundraiser events, such as Paws In the Park, Paws for a Cause and the bi-annual Adopt-A-Thon.  All of the dogs I currently have fell into my lap during my last few years in animal rescue.  I actually drove to Charlotte, NC round trip to pick up my dog Ollie from a bully rescue that was having to close its doors. 

Some of my companions during one of my dog transports.  :)

I went to the movies.  Lucas and I would have "Movie Sunday", where we would pay for one movie but watch three in a row and then go to dinner.  I went to concerts, both big and small.  I bought tickets to super-fun events, such as Wine Over Water and Brewfest and the Whiskey Festival and the Beer, Bourbon & BBQ Festival and Taste (a foodie event put on by The Kidney Foundation).  We went to adult parties (not THAT kind.....I just mean no kids!).

Photo booth pic from a wedding several years ago.  I may or may not have been a teensy bit intoxicated.

New Years Eve 2011 with Laura in Nashville.  Cracks me up every time.  What you can't see is the open bottle of champagne in her lap.  PARTY LADIES.  She now has a daughter, btw.  WHO WILL SEE THIS, OH YES.

I bar hopped.  I would stay out way too late and drink way too much and wake up hungover (even though I hate being hungover).  I actually saw friends of mine in the flesh, instead of just on Facebook.  We would actually make plans.  We would go to lunch.  Or we would go out to dinner.  And then we would hit a bar.  Or a movie.  Or both.  I would sneak cigarettes into my night if Lucas wasn't around (I quit smoking over six years ago, and he has never smoked so he is definitely NOT a fan).  I would drink on patios in the summertime ALL AFTERNOON because I could.  Sometimes my butt didn't leave a patio chair for hours, except maybe to pee.

I borrowed Betty from the Humane Society one afternoon for adoption exposure.  We walked around downtown and then met up with friends (both human and doggy) at Hair of the Dog.

I went on trips from my bucket list.  I went to Gatlinburg almost every year over New Year's.  Lucas and I traveled to Savannah and Los Angeles and Philly and Austin and Denver and Charleston and all sorts of places in between.  We would just plan the trip and go.  There wasn't much else to it.  We would take a week's vacation to go wherever we wanted 2-3 times a year.

And this is just stuff from the last six-ish years.  My early twenties also included loads of karaoke and cigarettes and high heels and boys and dancing at clubs.  Dance clubs, gay clubs, strip clubs, bars, bars, bars.......lots of RIDICULOUSNESS happened in my early twenties that was fun times but can STAY PACKED AWAY WITH MY EARLY TWENTIES.  We will not go any further into my early twenties, for my own sake.  ;)

At the Sky Tower in Chicago.  That's some scary standin' right there.

But then this happened (on purpose, but it still happened):

Delano was maybe 3 or 4 days old.  I like this pic of the hubs.  :)

And then this happened:

I think Lucy was about 6 weeks old here.  You know, when we realized we didn't have a family picture yet.  Sorry, Kid #2.

And this happened in there, too, but it wasn't a social life-changer, just a life detail:

Beach vow renewal this past May.  We eloped between Delano and Lucy, and decided to do an easy-peasy beach wedding for our one year anniversary.

These two.  :)

I love my kids and my husband and my pets and my house and my jobs and my town and my family and my in-laws and my friends and my life more than anything in this world, and I wouldn't change a thing.

BUT WITH ALL THAT BEING SAID......us moms know how we see/hear about people doing their own awesome non-committed-to-kids thing and we're all like, dang, we'd love to be doing that - whatever "that" is.  We know what it's like to sigh at the outside world from inside the doors of our minivans, with kids either sleeping or screaming or barking demands in the back.  There's no getting up in the morning and just leaving for an early run.  There's no hopping in the car to volunteer for a dog transport that will take 2-3 hours of your time.  There are no summer days spent parked on a patio with a pack of cigarettes and the continued pouring of beers or cocktails.  There are no days spent at the movie theater.  There are no unplanned "let's go out!" phone calls from friends.  There are no impromptu trips flying all over the country.  There are no impromptu trips to the hair salon or nail salon or clothing store to buy a new pair of jeans.

Someone posted this gem as a #tbt pic on Facebook recently.  This was in my earlier twenties.  The three of us were at the store getting supplies for a party.  I don't even remember that store trip.  Or the party.  Or that hair.

**All three of us above are now married with kids.  Natalie has one child, I have two, and Kyle has three (and two step-children as well, I believe)..

Granted, I try to do as much fun stuff as a mom as I can master.  I love to put the kids in the stroller and go walking around downtown or along the Riverwalk, or even around my parents' neighborhood with my mom.  In the wintertime, we walk the mall a lot.  I've taken Delano down to Coolidge Park to play in the water fountain, and we usually stop for ice cream on a hot day (or any day, really).  I'm a member of the Aquarium and can take the kids anytime.  I was a member of the Creative Discovery Museum as well, though I've opted to hold off on renewing that membership until the kids are a little older.  I still run, but nineteen times out of twenty it's on my treadmill in the basement while the kids are napping.  When Delano was six months old we took a trip to New Orleans so that I could run a half marathon (another state notch in the race belt!), though it was definitely not an easy run for me.  I've still been able to show up for a few Humane Society events, sometimes with a baby strapped to my chest.  I've crawled inside dog crates to clean them while wearing a Moby.  I actually attended Brewfest the past two years since kids have been around.....the first time Delano was nine days old and the second time I was about five months pregnant with Lucy.  I didn't drink like I would have pre-kids of course but I did get to very slowly sip a beer each time (I think I had two beers the first time!).  We went to the Whiskey Festival last fall for a couple of hours while my parents watched Delano.....though I was pregnant so Lucas did all the drinking (but I got a glass!).  And we're considering flying to California as a family in August for a wedding, though that hasn't been ultimately decided yet.

New Orleans or bust!  It was cold one day.....

And warm and sunny the next!

I do see my BFF from high school in the flesh a lot, as her daughter is six months younger than Delano and so we're at the same "stage" in life right now.  We run errands and go to lunch and hang out with our kids during the week on a pretty regular basis, which is awesome.  I also see my mom several times a week (sometimes every day), and she helps out A LOT with watching the kids so that I can get a haircut or run to the store or go to the dentist or work a bartending shift or whatever else.  And even though Lucas and I typically take the kids everywhere we go, my parents have watched them a few times over the last two years so that we could do something child-free, like go to a 21+ birthday party.

I can't say that I sit around the house 24/7 and don't do anything anymore......I definitely DO things......but they now revolve around kid-friendly options and nap times.  It's a big fun day for me if the kiddos and I are meeting someone for lunch (YAY LUNCH!!!).  But the "social" aspect of my life got flushed down the toilet the second Delano popped out.  I would say it was when I was pregnant, but that's only partly true.  Yeah, I stopped drinking and started avoiding smoky bars (my old hangouts), which in turn meant I stopped hanging out with a bunch of my old friends, but I still had my free will then.  It was when Delano popped out that my free will and I parted ways.

I wouldn't trade my life for the world.  But dang it would be nice to just be able to GO.  Just GO.  Somewhere.  Anywhere.  With grownups.  While I sit a little too long and drink a little too much and stay out a little too late and sleep a little too hard. 

But for now, you'll see me with kids in tow.  I'll be thirty minutes late because even though I gave myself half an hour to load up the diaper bag and get the kids in the car, it took me an hour.  I'll be wearing jeans and a t-shirt because my high heels are covered in dust and my cute clothes don't fit anymore.  I'll order fried okra and mac & cheese as my side items not because that's what I would have chosen for myself, but because my oldest might want some of them.  I'll smell like maple syrup, not because of any fancy lotion scent I'm wearing, but because of the Fenugreek I'm taking to help build up my breastmilk supply.  I'll have to leave early because the kids will start to get super-cranky and will need their naps.  I'll debate on how to spend their nap time....Should I clean house?  Should I hit the treadmill?  Should I shower?  Should I answer emails?  Should I do something crafty?  I'll spend the evening at home with the kids and husband, because being a family is what we do now.

It's how we roll.  Social life be damned.