When Is A Mom Ever NOT Terrified??

I already know the answer to that question.  But let's still talk about it.

Let me start off by saying that I am not an insanely overprotective mother, or at least I don't think I am.  I never required people to sanitize their surroundings before holding Delano when he was itty-bitty, though I definitely would have been more particular of smokers had that been an issue.  I've been taking Delano out on the town since the day he was born, which was even against the "doctor's orders".  I don't mind the cats or dogs being around him (or even licking him), I don't wash his pacifier every time it hits the ground (merely wipe the dirt off of it), and when he picks a flower out of the grass and sticks it in his mouth, I let him eat it.  He's a little boy, and things like bugs and dirt are going to be CONSTANTS in his life for quite some time.  In my opinion, if you shelter your child from the bugs and the dirt and the germs and the fur, they are more likely to be allergic to the bugs and the dirt and the germs and the fur in the future because they haven't had any exposure to them.  Of course, there are many other factors that contribute to these forty-billion allergies us humans have nowadays, but that's a whole other blog post.......

Back to terrified mothers.

When your baby is an infant, you're terrified of SIDS, or that your baby will stop breathing for no apparent reason (still possibly SIDS), or will suffocate, or will choke and die on spit-up, or will get too hot, or too cold.  You also are aware that your baby can't exactly tell you that their belly hurts, or their ear aches, or their head hurts, or they just don't feel good.  When you can't console your baby's crying with food or a diaper change or rocking or singing or walking, besides wanting to pull your hair out, you're terrified that there's something seriously wrong that you just can't seem to figure out.  WHAT IF I'M MISSING SOMETHING???

We all recognize this face.

Nine times out of ten, your baby is just crying, and your doctor will reassure you of that (if you were one of the many moms who rushed to the doctor the next morning).  The remaining "one" out of ten is typically gas or an earache.  A very, VERY small percentage is something else.  But we're all terrified that WE are that percentage.

As our babies get older, we become terrified of other things. 

I am no longer terrified of the infant terrors, as Delano has surpassed the age to worry about most of them.  Granted, he still can't tell me if he has an upset tummy or an earache, but I also now can tell the difference between regular crying and pain crying.  At this age (9 months), I'm terrified that Delano will choke on something - food, a toy, a glob of hair, whatever.  He's still eating mostly pureed food with the exception of rice crackers and rice puffs and the occasional oddball item tossed in there, but soon he'll be moving onto finger foods.  And when those teeth start coming in, he'll really be into foods he can bite himself.  So I'm terrified of him choking.

I'm REALLY glad I haven't had to put my CPR training into action yet.

I'm also terrified of him drowning.  We don't have a pool and I never leave him unattended while he's taking a bath, but it still terrifies me.  Because it's a silent killer.  Most people think that when a person is drowning they splash and kick and scream "help!" and make a big noisy scene (like in the movies).  But in reality, drowning happens super quietly.  So even though the risks of Delano drowning at my house are slim to none, it still terrifies me.

I plan on starting Delano on swim lessons in the near future - yay!

They look happy.

I'm terrified of being in a car accident that hurts or kills Delano.....or me.  I drive more carefully now that I almost always have my child in the car, but just because I'M driving carefully doesn't mean that the people around me are.  I'm terrified of being T-boned or side-swiped or even just hit head-on.  I'm terrified of something happening to Delano or leaving Delano without a mother.  All it would take is a SECOND.....just ONE SECOND for someone to make a mistake and kill us all.

SCARY.  Baby or no baby.

Sidenote:  I recently Googled the Wrong Way on the Taconic story, about the mother who drove the wrong way on a New York interstate in 2009 killing herself, one of her two children, all three of her nieces and three men in an SUV she crashed into.  Super sad.  Don't click on the link unless you just really want to put the details into your brain.  I just thought I'd mention it because it's been on my mind a while.

Lastly (for the moment), I'm terrified of Delano being kidnapped.  Whether he's taken directly from my arms, or during a carjacking, or a robbery, or later (when he can walk) at the playground or in a store.  Children are taken ALL the time, and so many parents never see their children again.  I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE.  There are no words, other than I would just die inside if this ever happened to me.

I do know that if it DID happen to me, I'd want one of these two men on the case:

Former CIA agent Bryan Mills.

Or Jack Bauer.

So there you have it - my current terrors as a mother.  I don't live my life scared to do anything.....Delano and I live a good life doing just about anything we want to.  I don't live in a state of paranoia, and I don't let fears overrun our daily decisions.  But they're still in the back of my mind like a Lifetime movie. 

I don't ever want to be a story for a Lifetime movie.

As Delano gets older, new fears will arise.  He'll be making friends who will make bad decisions, HE will make bad decisions, he'll start driving and dating and just growing up in general.  It will be my (and Lucas's) job to protect him but not hoard over him, and that (at least for me) will be hard.  But I will always be his mother, and he will just have to get over it.

:)