I Suffer From UMS

My baby confuses me.

He's been off of night feedings for quite a while.  I'd have to look it up (wow...I've forgotten already??) but I think Delano started sleeping through the night (6-8 hours) around 3 months old.  Then about a month or so ago, he upped his game to 12 hours.  As in 12 straight hours without a peep.  It was AMAZEBALLS.

Well, now we've taken a step backwards, and I can't figure out why.  For the past couple of weeks, the boy has been waking up consistently throughout the night.  He tosses and fusses, and so I pop a paci in his mouth and rock him back to sleep, which takes no longer than 5-10 minutes.  Then we do this over and over again until he's up and ready to eat around 7am.  I knew he was waking up pretty frequently, but last night was the first night that I watched the clock.  It seems that after he sleeps for about 4-6 solid hours, he's up EVERY 40 MINUTES.

Seriously, baby??

I've tried putting him to bed earlier.  I've tried putting him to bed later.  I've tried keeping him awake after 5:30.  I've tried not feeding him any solid foods for dinner.  I've tried removing blankets in case he was hot.  I've tried tucking him in with heavier blankets in case he was cold.  I've tried swaddling.  I've tried NOT swaddling.  I've tried using a humidifier.  I've tried NOT using a humidifier. 

Next up?  Swapping out his Rock N Play sleeper for his Pack N Play.  Because maybe he's sick and tired of sleeping in the angled carseat position.  I have no idea.  But I'm on a mission to figure it out so that we can nip all this fussin' in the bud! 

What does that even mean, to "nip something in the bud"?  Let's find out, shall we?

Thanks, www.phrases.org.uk

Oh and to top it off, Delano has started gulping when he eats (not all the time, just sometimes, usually in the mornings) and then ends up shooting milk out of his nose.  NICE.

So on to other news......I've discovered that I suffer from a case of UMS - Unsexy Mom Syndrome. 

- First of all, I'm gaining weight.  And I totally can't call it "baby weight" because I lost all of that early on.  Nope, I am gaining weight for two reasons:  I'm not running nearly as much as I used to (or would like to be) and I'm still pretty much eating the same as when I was pregnant.  So it's all my fault, but it is what it is.  And I bet you didn't read a lick of that paragraph because you were too busy trying to wrap your brain around the picture below.

I SERIOUSLY FOUND THIS PICTURE WHILE SEARCHING FOR A "GAINING WEIGHT" IMAGE.

I'm detouring, but I must share where this pic came from once I clicked on it to find out WHY this girl's pic popped up in my search engine.  It's from a chat forum, and here was her post:

I'm gaining weight on purpose and I obviously don't "need to".  I'd just like to know what everyone thinks of me currently.  I'm a feedee, and if you guys don't know what that means, it means I eat a lot so I can gain weight on purpose.  My boyfriend gave me the idea, and I used to be 120 pounds or so before I met him.  Now I'm a LOT bigger, and hope to get to 300 pounds before the end of this year.  I feel better in my body, more at-home, and have more of a purpose.  I love myself, and I'm not going to stop what I'm doing, I just figured I'd get a perspective.

So there's that.  Anyway..........

- Second of all, my clothes suck.  Last week I brought an empty box into my room to pack away all of my maternity clothes and literally emptied out about 2/3 of my closet.  So what the hell was I wearing before I got pregnant??  Where are all my clothes??  I can tell you what my clothes consist of now (and maybe always did) - jeans, t-shirts, tennis shoes and a few sweaters.  I also have a drawer of tank tops and tube tops that probably don't fit right now and may never fit again.  And my feet are now a half-size bigger, so I need to purge all of my shoes.  I need a clothes overhaul, because looking at my current clothes options depresses me.  I don't need to look like a rock star every day, but I'm tired of looking EXACTLY THE SAME FREAKING WAY every single day.  I mean, I don't even pull off "cute".  I just look boring boring BORING.  I also need to invest in some eye cream because I've got bags under my eyes.  Fantastic.

Exactly, bored baby.

**Insert comment where my mother tells me I'm beautiful and perfect and to cut myself some slack because I have a 5-month-old.  Thanks in advance, Mom.  :)

I thought there was a "third of all" to add to this, but I'm guessing my mommy brain forgot it.  Ah well.  If I remember I'll toss it into the next blog.

It is SUPER DIFFICULT to make a workout schedule with a 5-month-old.  Especially when he's not sleeping solid until 9am or 10am like before.  When he was doing that, I had a good 1-3 hours in the morning to get things done before he woke up.  I don't have that time to myself anymore.  At least not until he starts sleeping like that again.  Or taking naps in the afternoon that don't require him being in my lap or attached to my chest.  And it doesn't help that I am NOT motivated to run in 30 degree weather!  Two years ago I trained 3-4 days a week in it.  With completely inappropriate clothing, too!  Now I actually own cold weather gear but would rather hit the treadmill when it's that cold, even though the treadmill is much more boring.  Lucas will watch Delano in the evenings when he gets off work so that I can run, but then I'm cutting into other time slots, like dinnertime.  But hopefully in the near future I'll be able to fit some more "ME FIT" time into my day.

As for eating better, I just need to get on the ball.  I've been saying that for months.  I know I'm getting bored saying it over and over again, so I KNOW you're getting bored reading about it over and over again!  So when is it finally going to sink in?  Ugh....it needs to be soon.  I've done it in the past, so what's my problem now?  Why am I such a slacker?  It's not like I can't do it, it's not like I don't WANT to do it and it's not even like I keep a lot of junk in the house.  We are almost a junk-free household.  Ugh again.  My friend Nicole and her husband Mark follow the Paleo diet and LOVE it.  She gave me a book to read plus a bunch of websites to look at, so I'm going to look into it.  From what she described, it seems pretty easy to follow with the exception of a few key food/drink items that I do really enjoy.  So if I do give it a go (and I don't see why not) I may not follow it all the way, but maybe will do "mostly".  And maybe it will become an awesome lifestyle change!

And we all know life just wouldn't be complete without a little of this.....